Evoke
by miz-lou
Summary: Heero has given himself his toughest mission, the struggle to evoke his humanity. Will he be successful? Still in progress.
1. Chapter 1

Evoke – PG

Chapter 1

By MizLou

Perfectly polished furniture sat in a large, airy room, the room so immaculate it look scantly decorated even with several high backed chairs and a tea table in front of billowing folds of curtains draping lazily across the top of large french windows. The panes sparkled in the sunlight and opened their view to a great rolling meadow gently sloping down to a creek passing through the property.

Relena raised a hand to the glass, her fingertips gently kissing the pane as she seemingly tried to reach for the peace she saw in the frame.

Birds in the distance flew through the field, nestling in the trees found at the water's edge. Her horse sat contently grazing in the tall grass. His tail flickered between each step he took swatting away flies.

The princess returned her hand to her chest, a fist against her heartbeat as she closed her eyes. Her chest rose with a deep breath as she whispered the unforgotten words, "I believe in you."

Heero threw a fist. The assaulter dodged the punch and skillfully channeled the sideways momentum bringing his leg up and nearly making contact with Heero's neck. A shopkeeper exited a rear door to his store with a sack of garbage and gasped at the sight of two men intently fighting not far from where he stood. He hid back behind the door and after a second glance confirming the scene, reentered the shop.

Good, there need to be no innocent bystanders involved. Heero trained heavily on the masked man, the eyes the only exposed flesh. He sought to memorize the colors of the iris, any malformity of color that might lead him to discover the identity. If he could just move the mask a bit to see the formation of the eyebrow…

A near whish past his head as a bullet blazed past suddenly brought his thoughts to a crashing halt.

A snarl immediately plastered itself on his features as the muscles in his jaw visibly tightened. Without much hesitation he took the gun into his hands but found difficulty in loosening the assailant's grip on the metal. Heero had not thought the man unarmed, but the use of a weapon in such a setting was not a smart move.

Sirens sounded in the distance and resounded in the alleyway. Heero cursed under his breath as he struggled with the gun in two hands; the masked man freeing one of his hands to land a blow on Heero's unprotected left cheek. And if there was visibility underneath the cloth one would have seen pain on the attacker's features. The slight pause in his movements was enough for Heero to bring a hand back and land his palm firmly against the butt of the gun, freeing it from the entanglement of hands. Having the advantage the soldier retrieved the gun in a swift movement and cocked it as he brought it around.

What he did not expect was to be pointing the gun at the Sheriff of the town.

His eyes quickly scanned the horizon, taking in every detail of the alleyway before returning to the Sheriff, who had made considerable time closing the distance between the two. Unhooking the cuffs from his belt the Sheriff quoted Heero his rights and removed the gun from his hand.

She always loved it when she could ride in the open field, urging her horse on faster and faster as her breathing matched the rhythm of the pounding hoofs. The quake of the earth traveled up his flanks and tossing her forward, urged her forward. The reins pulled against her gloves and her heart resounded in her chest. With ease they cleared the brook as one fluid motion and Relena felt the cool water on her right leg as his rear hoof shattered the surface of a puddle. The mist cleared her lungs.

She led him to his stall and prepared him for the night and took her time heading back into the house, carrying a package tightly to her chest. She opened the door and listened for the familiar click before resting her back against it, hugging the article to her chest.

"Miss Relena."

She tugged open only one eye but otherwise not shifting another voluntary muscle. "Yes, Pagan, what is it?"

"A message for you madam." He extended the piece of transparent paper and she unmistakably made out Heero's handwriting. Without seeming too excited she disciplined herself before taking the paper from his hand. After her thank you she maintained a calm pace to the staircase and did not break into a run until she was hidden by the hallway, the seal on the letter removed before she had reached her bedroom door.

Dr. J's lab glowed with an uncanny luminescence that filled the room and at the same time cast an eerie, ominous tone. Liquids that used to bubble in round-bottom flasks and bunsen burners sat abandoned. The gray haired scientist sat slumped over his chair, his shoulders hunched in a malformed way and the position might have suggested he was sleeping. Duo picked his way through a bit of broken glass he accredited the shards to the aging clumsiness of the professor before he realized the professor was not in a position to be sleeping. As a matter of fact, the position he took looked rather awkward in nature, his arm was twisted in a strange way.

"What's going on here?" The American commented aloud. His steps resounded in the hollowed room before he fully realized the stains on the desktop.

His braid trailed behind him as he burst through the doors and hustled to his second story apartment, splashing puddles haphazardly, paying no mind as they got in his way. Trowa had left him a note in the secure black box set up on the doorframe above to allow the exchange of urgent messages without suspicion. He read the note quickly and after sending a phone call to Preventor's Headquarters Duo set off to the district prison.

Heero sat with his stoic expression his hands no longer propped on his knees holding his head when he heard various footsteps coming through the door and around the corner approaching his cell.

"Man, some people will do anything for attention."

Heero's back pressed against the wall with his infamous glare.

"I wouldn't mock him," the officer warned as he latched the key. "This one required a cell all his own."

Duo smiled. "No worries." He waved it off. "This guy's completely harmless."

The officer softly pointed at his gun, hinting at the weapon he was found with.

"Oh that?" Duo said aloud, causing the officer to recoil whose motioning was a silent warning, not wishing to irritate Heero further. "That wasn't his gun."

Duo tossed Heero's preventor badge and information to the cop. "He tends to forget this, much less a weapon."

And even though it was a complete lie, the officer bought the innocent features Duo presented. The paperwork was signed, bail paid and the car ride was horribly silent. The engine moaned with years of use as it went down the road, recessing from view and reappearing on its uphill struggle.

"Heero."

There was the usual return answer: nothing. Duo had tossed Heero's preventor badge to him when they got into the car and saw that it still remained on the seat beside him. Duo pulled the car into the parking spot in front of headquarters and heard Heero's door open and shut marking his exit of the vehicle. Apparently the jail time had affected his mood more than he let on.

"Heero, man, there's something that you need to kno-"

"Don't bother me Maxwell."

Duo sighed and hung his wrist on the steering wheel, rubbing his temples with his other hand and slumping further into his seat. "That guy really doesn't possess any emotion." He returned Heero's badge to his pocket for safekeeping.

The Headquarters had not been very quiet since the first of the month when rebel movement had been detected. It was the earliest Preventors had proactively discovered potential trouble and that left many holes in the story to be filled in without many clues at the present point in time. The Gundam pilots had become members of the Preventors with the exception of one Heero Yuy whom claimed his work was better done alone.

"Good thing Preventors insisted on your badge." Trowa shared with him as he entered the hallway. Word traveled fast as to everyone's location when internal intelligence was concerned.

Wufei concluded. "Yes, and that you have Duo as your keeper."

He continued down his path to Lady Une's office ignoring the insult before he stopped short to his destination. Une appeared out of a side office and faced Heero in the hallway. The gundam pilots stood gathered, Heero at the front and Quatre joining Lady Une's side.

"Heero." He casually turned to her. She was astounded by his lack of sharpness, how he could be found in the position he was and end up in jail. However, this was a matter best discussed in private, and she did like to keep an air of professionalism, even if Heero wasn't one of her operation - officially. This was a matter best handled when it came to the Perfect Soldier. "You will be briefed later. We have some special-ops we need to discuss in the conference room. 2145 hours."

Heero passed his former comrades, further placing a distance between himself and them and headed to the break room for some sleep.

Something didn't fit right, all of the pieces of the puzzle weren't coming together for him. He replayed the events over and over in his mind. How long it had taken him to find the man, trailed him to that spot in the alley, the eyes, the mask, the movements and how he had been outmaneuvered and left with the villain's leftovers. The mess he had to clean up.

How could he be outsmarted? Perhaps he needed to head back to Dr. J for some training. Perhaps his slow growth of emotion was interfering with his job. It was more convenient to be rid of them.

But then he had a thought, at the very same moment Relena was sliding into a bubble bath after her horseback ride. The package lay open, the contents folded out upon the material. A small tube of bubble bath, a petite flower and a necklace that glimmered in the dim lights. She stared at the shards of crystal encased in silver from the opposite side of the tub and inhaled the scent of the soap. The bubbles caressed her body and she lifted the flower to place in her tuft of hair bunched up atop her head. It was the same flower that had brought them together; finally brought them together on a different level. The circumstances always similar, for the circumstances were a commonality to both their lives, but this time they had come together as human beings. Not such a novelty for her, but for him… she could immediately see it in his eyes and made it her personal vow to nurture that spark and encourage it.

Sleep did not come and the conference occurred as scheduled. Une took her seat in front of the five and held a stack of worn papers in front of her. She had read through them so many times she no longer required looking down at them to know their precise contents.

"There had been confirmed movement on three colonies, an unknown force acting in the shadows. But this time, the mystery of this force is even more undefined. They are in the infant stages of the planning and, already, we've not done our job." She pointed out the locations of the colonies behind her and stacked the papers, compacting them perpendicular to the countertop. "The recent death of Dr. J has shown how much we are lacking, not to mention how it has complicated matters considerably."

Heero looked up from his spot in such a matter that would only be considered urgent by those who knew him.

Dr. J wasn't dead. How could Dr. J be dead? He had escaped death so many times. And in fact, as Heero recollected the events of the day, he had just spoken with him before encountering the mask.

"It's true." Duo remarked looking down at the table. "I saw him myself Heero."

Heero trained his eyes consistently on Une. They had shifted between the papers on the tabletop in front of him and her face the entire briefing. "Heero, if you need to leav-"

"Continue."

Une sighed and bit her lip. "We need to investigate the scene, determine the style of execution in order to read more of our enemy." A sideways glance to ensure Heero was fairing well with the adjectives she chose. "Duo, you were the one who was first on the scene, perhaps you should-"

"I'll do it." Heero's features told her it was not a request.

"Heero-"

At this point in time he stood from his seat and headed toward the door.

"Heero, I know that you are not under my jurisdiction. But I request, as a friend and someone concerned for your well-being, do not leave this briefing yet."

Heero looked back at her when he had reached the door. "That's something I'll never understand."

With that he left his former comrades in the conference room, a defeated leader Une staring after him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
Rating: PG-13

Mechanical parts littered the apartment as Hilde hopscotched over them.

"Doesn't he ever clean up?" She picked at some pieces, arranging them in the neatest pile she could within a corner of the room. The desk had stacks of paperwork and she drew the closet door across it, securing the key and tucking it into her shirt pocket.  
"He's going to let all the military secrets out at this rate."

The mauve-haired ex-soldier made her way to the kitchen and decided a nice warm meal might be of some good. Duo would return tired; he always did though he felt he never let on with that boisterous personality of his. Hilde cracked a smile and light chuckle as she removed the ingredients for her dish from the scant cupboards. Before long the kitchen was filled with the aroma of lasagna and the warmth was comforting, as opposed to overbearing considering the heat index that day.

She set the table with the frugal silverware they owned. Hilde smiled investigating one of the forks missing a prong, and pulled a chair out of the living room to serve as the second dining room table chair. She decided that very fork was her favorite and set it lightly on the table. She drew a candle out of her sachet and stood it in the middle of the plates.

The sun was disappearing from the earth slowly. As she turned her attention to the dirty window for several minutes, the dirt stuck to the glass reminded her of how gritty she felt. Hilde stretched and tugged at her heavy clothing, deciding to pass her remaining waiting time in the shower washing the days dirt and grime away.

Trowa skirted the path outside the frozen city heading back to the circus tent. Constantly on the watch for moving shadows he thought over the succession of predictable procedures. He had concluded for the moment, on the given evidence, Heero felt responsible for Dr. J's death. He knew him too well to conclude otherwise. Heero had visited Dr. J's lab that very day, mere hours before the discovery of his death had occurred.

Perhaps he had left a door opened? Dr. J's facility was too well maintained for a haphazard assault. Heero maintained his posture along the alleyway fisting in his pockets. He had returned to the scene of the fight to find some clue. There had to be something he was overlooking…

Smeared footprints in the sand was all he got. 

Duo listened to the familiar groan of the engine heading home. He took his hands off the steering wheel to stretch them toward the heavens as a yawn escaped his mouth.

"I'll go after him," Duo had gotten up from his seat after he was sure Heero had enough time to exit the building. There was no doubt where Heero was heading.

Une shook her head vehemently slamming a hand on the table. "You are forbidden to do that."

All four faces turned to stare at her. "Let him time alone, that's how he's always done things."

The words sounded broken and hardly convincing. With a sigh she concluded. " Dismissed." 

Duo mirrored her sigh. Perhaps if he had finished his sentence to Heero in the car things would have turned out differently.

"No," he shook his head to no one in particular. "He would have just run off on his own right then." 

Turning his key in the door he saw Hilde shaking her hair out with a towel, mostly out of nervous habit. The amount of short hair on her head was already dry. The candle had burned past halfway down and continued its descent toward the table.

She had been waiting a while.

Ignoring the contents of the table he slumped past her and tossed his bag in the corner, following suit with his body as he landed on the bed. His arm lay across his eyes and one foot sat planted on the bed while the other stretched its length. After blowing the dinner candle out and returning the lasagna pan to the fridge, Hilde took the bedroom doorframe in her hands and leaned against it, assessing if she should comfort him or not.

It had been a half hour and Heero was starting to get frustrated with the futility of it all. He hadn't found a single thing. He was right back where he started.

Giving up on the present scene, Heero turned toward the direction of Dr. J's lab. The stars shown brightly above and at first he ignored them. He was on a mission. But along his path he found himself looking up toward them and without realizing it his feet had decided on their own to stop moving. It had been a while since he had taken time to look at those celestial bodies above him… much of the time in an attempt to forget where he came from, what had happened with the colonies, his involvement. 

And now he felt lost, somehow. Again. His purpose for life. Who was to give him orders if Dr. J was gone?

For a moment he saw Relena's face flash before his vision, the stars framing her eyes and irradiating the soft contours of her features. A smile slightly curved her lips and the warmth and comfort of her eyes under fanned lashes… the comfort she brought to him calmed his body and he felt his mind clear, if only for the moment.

He would go to see her again. She always seemed to know what to say to calm turbulent times. There were times when she didn't say anything, yet she spoke volumes to him in placating tones. As his feet started moving again he contemplated why he never went to go see her during times with things were calm, even though he thought of her often. 

He wasn't ready to make that step yet. The guilt manifested into sending hidden packages in his stead.

Relena pressed her eyes and calmly hymned the words, "I believe in you." 

The stars replied to her steadfast encouragement and she felt her eyes fixated to the flecks of diamonds in the night sky. Her gaze fell down to the necklace upon her chest, how it absorbed the radiance of the stars and shown it back at her.

She reluctantly turned away from the window and headed to her bed. A brush ran through her long mane along her journey to rest. She crawled between the covers; the brush set upon her nightstand alongside a dusty frame. She smiled at her reflection in it and took the tattered teddy into her arms.

"Rest well, Heero." 

Hilde busied herself in the kitchen and continued to straighten things out until she found there was no more she could do. Duo ignored the sounds coming from the other room and fixated his eyes on the ceiling in concentration. She gently entered the room, pressing the door hard against its hinges so it wouldn't announce its dire need for oiling and crawled alongside Duo. Without hesitation she took him into her arms and laced her fingers with his. 

"Duo," she listened to his heartbeat and let out a slender plea. "Duo, what's wrong?"

He turned on his side and hugged her tightly to his chest. "Oh, Hilde, babe…" 

She placed her hands on his chest and pressed backward, longing to look into his eyes.  
Why was he avoiding looking into her eyes?

"Duo, what's going on?"

After a long silence he answered. "I could never stand to lose you."

"Duo!" She never could stand talk like that. As if he had already given up, a broken soul that had already lost some battle.

But he cut her off. "Things are about to change Hilde. It's been so peaceful for so long, but not anymore."

Covers shifted as he held her molded to his chest. It wasn't like him to be so down, so needy of her touch, and this added extra meaning to his solemn words. 

"Hilde," she finally met his depressed eyes. "Dr. J is dead."

Heero steadied a table upright and could have winced at the sound reverberating off the rafters. Iridescent shadows played off the walls from the remaining concoctions, haunting, as if leading him to scene of the crime with invisible fingers. Heero took in the surroundings, noticing the minimal struggle that appeared to have gone on and finally found his way to the central desk.

Circling it a few times Heero didn't understand his hesitation to further investigate the body in front of him. Years of fighting and yet he couldn't bring himself to do it. 

Dr. J was seemingly invincible. He had escaped certain death for him and the other scientists against all odds. It certainly was a fitting characteristic of the scientist that had trained him to do the same thing. Yet here he lay, as if embodying the ultimate risk of failure accompanying each of his missions… and at the same time confirming his humanity.

I have never possessed humanity, Heero prompted himself and shrugged it off.

Slowly approaching the body Heero reached out a pair of fingers to feel for a pulse. He immediately noticed the body was completely at room temperature when something moved in the background. Heero ripped his eyes away from the scientist. He cursed the emotion that had caused him to distract from the mission beforehand. He was to investigate the scene, not sit and contemplate the mysteries of life, he reminded himself.

And with the reminder his senses heightened dramatically. There were four men behind him and at least two more in the present shadows he faced. As he turned to counter one of the lunging assailants from behind he immediately processed the large noise in the rafters he had heard earlier. It was not due to the noise he was making in returning the table to its rightful position, but instead a seventh man hidden.

A marksman.

The second the information registered a sharp pain hit him in the back of the neck.

"Good morning, Miss Relena. How was your weekend?"

Relena rubbed the pain away from her temples. "Never long enough." She returned with a light tone and smile. 

"I'm sorry to hear that." The delegate showcased an empathetic smile.

Millions of suits and sashes filled the room. She took her place at the front, off to the right hand side of the guest delegate and crossed her legs. The position created the perfect cradle for her paperwork and she poised a pen in her hand. Occasionally she had to remove them when an elect came up to address her or to extend a hand in greeting before the procession took place. 

Upon one occasion as she rose from her seat a small slip of paper escaped her leather bound notebook and before she could lunge for it a strong and gnarled hand took it up. She allowed her eyes to follow up the length of the body before realizing it was Del. Hanson Gerome. He looked over the note without any conscious respect for personal matters and scoffed. Her suit pressed tightly against her neck, an invisible hand choking her. The air in the room seemed heavy pressed against her lungs and slight tears edged her vision as she adjusted her collar.

"Passing notes during class are we?" 

Even though he didn't offer the piece of paper back to Relena she took it back with a practiced air of grace. Luckily that one hadn't Heero's signature attached to it, saving him from humiliation. Relena had deliberately chosen that one for such an instance as this. She needed something to get her through the days that were becoming longer and longer but at the same time she would not embarrass him. She had not taken into account how she might feel had someone read it and inside she was fuming as she re-adhered the tattered piece of tape responsible for securing the note to her notebook.

Oh how her patience seemed an antiquity of the past.

Quatre stepped in to her right and provided her a reason to distract her interest. Returning her attention to the gentleman before her she finished extending her interrupted greeting completely ignoring Del. Gerome and couldn't help but feel relieved when the central speaker took the podium just as she was returning to her seated position.

"Are you ok, Miss Relena?" The blonde pilot guided her arm down as she took her seated position. 

She offered a kind smile. "I've never been better, Quatre."

Keys tatted away in the room with amazing speed as Sally poured over recent reports, making the details concise and storing them away in a database. The futile attempt of detecting a pattern was more and more confirmed as the hours ticked away. 

"Woman, have you found anything yet?" The sarcastic air permeated the room.

"This would be a good instance for you to learn patience Wufei." Po shot back to him without her eyes leaving the work in front of her.

He leaned on her chair and took in the view on the screen. The paragraphs were short and broken. "What good is that going to do?"

"Let me do my work Wufei. You're welcome to remain in here. Quietly."

The Chinese man shot daggers with his eyes. "Woman, you don't tell me what to do-"

"Wufei."

He knew that tone. Pulling up a separate chair he sat beside her and made a mental note to himself to secure the video tape surveillance of the room that would reveal his submission to a woman later. Letters poured over the screen and Sally continued to type until the noise was starting to dance upon his nerves.

"Wait." He could hardly keep up with how quickly the page moved up as more and more information was entered. "There." He pointed at the screen.

She paused a moment and looked up. It took a moment for her eyes to refocus on the screen. "Psem?"

"Yes, how many times does that word show up?"

Sally searched the document. "2 times." 

"What does it mean?"

She looked up at him. "Quit wasting my time Wufei."

"Woman-" he corrected his attitude. "Do you know what it is?"

"No," she sounded exasperated. "But it shows up twice. Twice. Let me finish this completely before you go jumping to outlandish conclusions."

His eye twitched as he stood from his seat, deciding that the best course of action was to exit the room. "I was being nice to you, you know. Maybe you could try to do the same for me."


End file.
